STREET SOCCER ADVERTISEMENT!!

HI TO ALL.

This is a cordial invitation to the s46 invitational at the "street soccer court at daniel's house!"

Date: 29th December 2009 Monday

Time: 0930H (don't be late!! i promise i wun be late)

Venue: street soccer court at daniel's house which is somewhere in serangoon

Buses there: 76, 43, 80, 22, 24, 70 and a few more which i can't remember

This is just a friendly game of street soccer so come on down! break a leg! sprain ur hand! tear a ligament! rupture a tendon! all in the name of fun!

EXCLUSIVE!!

We have just confirmed the attendance of 3 big name stars! Come on down to catch a glimpse of...

DANIEL DROGBA DAZZLING TAN!!

GLEN GORGEOUS GREAT GOAL-GETTER ADEBAYOR TAN!!!

J. JUMBO JIMMINY JUMPY JIGGLY ROONEY LO!!!

(*sorry jlo couldn't think of many adjectives starting with J)

WOW with a host of other big name stars like, alvin poacher grumpy kwang, j-i'm-coming-next-week-foo, jerome-gladiator-kok, seth-im-injured-loh and munty-are-u-still-in-america-seah, can u bear to miss this event?

LATEST CONTEST!!!

Stand a chance to win an autograph from any of the above 3 simply by turning up!!

So what are u waiting for? come on down to serangoon this monday for the best football game of your life!!

merry christmas

merry christmas to all!!

had a nice christmas party last night, thanks playeur jfoo for coming up with the actions for santa claus is coming to town.

very tired now so goodnight! remember it's Christmas! dun replace Christ with x! you wouldn't want to be called x on ur birthday now would you.

another great weekend

Another great weekend!! Super busy of course.

Two days of giving out fliers was a unique experience, fun yet irritating, very similiar to guard duty >:( hopefully will have time to blog about it next week

Had a nice time at white sands for youth camp meeting, plus chionging home to dota after that with shane jeriel daniel and tim. whahahahah super fun too bad got mhers. and i stopped prematurely as the energy juice was really running out.

And this morning's football was insane. Even though the rain dampened the ground, it couldn't dampen our spirits, and it even more couldn't dampen our hair! that's because..........

we played at the void deck! LOL!!

operation: recoup camera cost

i always thought those ppl on the streets giving out fliers were super irritating!! pesky brats.

but in an hour's time i'm gonna be one of them. hope i don't see anyone i know!! very siasuay

more photos

As camp life gets more sian, weekends get better!

we seem to like christmas trees part 1

we seem to like christmas trees part 2

random old school bus 853 that i took. super retro, comes complete with aunty sitting in front

meet & greet with dora the explorer!!!

my family

I don't want to haolian my new camera...

but hey i can't help it.


had a great time at scruffy's catching 2 football matches with great buddies. really good, we have decided to make this a habit after ord. chilling out and watching football~

AND ARSENAL WON. I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EYES

dilemma!!

Tomorrow morning, i'm going to blow a month's pay on a digital camera at sitex. So excited yet so excruciating to part with so much money :(

ixus / sony ??? i shall make my final decision tmr. I CAN'T WAIT!!!

joyous weekend

Thank God for an absolutely fantastic last 5 days!!

Of course on my off days, i had such a wonderful time doing absolutely nothing at home. It's an incredible feeling, i totally felt like a sec2 kid in his december holidays, just finding games to play and with the phrase "i'm bored" constantly repeating in my head. In the past when i was really that age, the older youths in church would entertain me on msn and cannot comprehend how i could feel so bored while they were in the midst of torrid a-lvls or uni exams.

To quote meeshell's friendster testimonial to me 5 years ago, she said "Glen is a silly boi.. I dun understand y he is alwaiz bored hmm...."

1) This is damn nostalgic, brings a crocodile tear to my eye
2) Check out her funky language, of course now she wun ever spell words like that i tink

(btw everyone should go read their own friendster testimonials, it's a damn cool feeling. i hope friendster never closes down so i can always re-read my testimonials.. ahhaah so much more personal than facebook)

Yeah anyway, it's so funny that i remember carmen and meeshell even offering to cure my boredom by playing candystand.com bowling multiplayer mode with me (similiar to bowling buddies)!! Of course, that actually made them bored instead.

But anyways, having said all these..

MEESHELL JUST GOT MARRIED YESTERDAY!!! LIKE ZOMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT..

It was so cool :) just being there to see the whole thing (and of course standing in the sun to usher cars with jeremy was quite fun hahahah). Then to see the bride walk in and then get married and then like OMG ITS MEESHELL.

And i can still recall how about 4 years ago, the youths were having a good lunch at the mcdonalds opposite bugis. Then shaun, shane and i were like asking meeshell when was it her turn to get married. And that her future husband must be top-notch standard, and would have to pass many tests set by the 3 of us before he could marry her, etc. It was really funny ... hahaha then everyone was like laughing it off.

And to recall another nostalgic incident, 3 years ago, when we first me Mr Tan at our church anniversary. haha that was funny. but the real crunch time came during youth camp when we really got to meet Mr Tan, or william for that matter. and of course, it was time to see if he could pass our tests.. heh heh

And really the first test was pretty much the hardest test of all time. To dare to stay up past the allocated bed time with the 3 of us so that we could play dai dee and violate against the camp rules (and face the wrath of the senior youths)! MUAHAHAHA. Not only did he oblige, moreover he actually didn't know how to play dai dee, and was willing to learn from US, THE DAIDEE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE.

Of course we got scolded by carmen after that for trying to corrupt william, and also staying up past bed time. But his bravery and willingness to turn over to the dark side convinced us.

And then the next morning he woke up and did breakfast for everyone. Incredible! There you go! Thats how you pass a test with flying colours!!

The rest, as they say, is history. congrats to meeshell, i'm so happy for you!
yeah and i think i like your name spelt this way, it's so much more funky.

For now, i await the pictures from the wedding. Since the rest of my family is away in beijing, they took the camera so i couldn't take any pictures myself :(
Therefore after ORD, i must treat myself to a camera as an ord present!

Ah how i wish more off days like these would come.. i really like this feeling!! Like on friday, just taking a slow bus by myself down to newton, with my psp and mp3 to occupy me. Then just blowing heart shaped balloons with aunty fung chit, pasting masking tape on the road (which didn't really help in the end lol), and just soaking in the serenity of a cool friday night in total peace. superb feeling. really good. must have that feeling again. soon. please.

But as for now, the feeling must end. Reality hits, and guess what? it's bloody time to bloody book in. Tmr guard duty, wednesday thursday deployment. GREAT!! Good feeling ending in 3...2...1, okie dokes time to bathe and change and pack my bag.

yo whats up

yeah yo whats up crazy man

haha after coming back from FABULOUS TAIWAN (i so totally have to go back there again), i thought singapore would be a nice break but NO! many matters have been surfacing and life's a spinner. got my head swirling like a beyblade.

but first of all... PLEASE PRAY THAT WE CAN FIND A YOUTH CAMP SITE!!! *desperate*

yeah, something interesting happened in taiwan. i was in this boutique shop, trying on my uber-cool light green bermudas (in which i can sense all my friends are secretly jealous of), then this gaygay boutique dude was attending to me. Then he said i totally had good fashion sense! Hahahahaha. thats because my springfield black and grey striped sweater looked exactly the same as my black and grey striped byford socks. like whoa yo man this guy's observant.

ok totally random.

ok 'random' is like so jc, as in junior college.

i miss school. seeing the facebook pics that an na posted was.. tear-jerking *emo*

i'm just kidding, but i still miss school life! not a lvls tho! (good luck shane btw!)

ok goodnight guys. s3 sucks!!! have to book in tmr

:(

life has begun to take its toll on me lately :(

especially camp life, which has become depressing and cynical. somehow i keep seeing the ugly side of everything this week, making me so unhappy.

and the whole of today, i have been semi-sick with a bad sore throat, yet i have to be the only one in the platoon to book in tonight so that i can do luggage saikang tmr morning.

and now i have to give bowling a miss due to time constraints.

any light at the end of the tunnel?

And Btw...

Thanks to FIBC youths for a blast at sentosa! I personally haven't had so much fun for a long time!

And btw to fellow platoon mates, the photos of the cohesion are up. PLEASE TAG YOURSELF! thanks

Injury To Star Player Rocks Maju Camp

An injury to C4 Football Club's key player Glen Tan has hit the club hard. Latest reports say that Tan suffered a slight strain to his left foot yesterday, and may be ruled out of tomorrow's giant clash with Surveillance Football Club.

The description by the club's physiotherapist have indicated that Tan might have suffered too much impact on his left foot, causing it to feel strained. The physio has given him a 50-50 chance of making a starting apperance in tomorrow's big match.

Sources close to the club have suggested the cause of the sudden injury. Apparently, Tan was seen playing beach football at Siloso Beach, Sentosa, yesterday evening with church friends. He played barefooted and kicking the ball multiple times without any footwear might have caused some pain to the more softer top of the foot.

The team manager of C4 Football Club, Shuoxian Tan, commented:

"I have heard about Glen's injury. But like they said, one man doesn't make a club. However... Glen is the Club!!! He is the heart of the team!! Without him, nothing flows throughout!! If the team were a bus, then he would be the wheels, engine, driver, and the top deck all combined!!"

With their key player out, and the team manager distraught at the news, the club and its fans keep their fingers crossed. However, one knows that they can always count on Tan to save the day.

bowling.. again

finally after 1 year and 5 months, i have somehow mustered up some time and effort to go and fix my bowling ball, which so tragically lost one of its finger plugs into the depths of a bowling lane halfway through a competition.

And now that it was fixed..

Trainer Glen sends out Grandfather Ball! Grandfather Ball i choose you!

With an okay average for 176, Glen's Ball pwned those of his 3 comrades. The highlight being a 4 bagger and a double in a high-game of 214. Congratulations Glen Tan~! His first 200 game of 2008, in only his 5th proper game this year with his ball, looks like things are looking up for the KINGPIN/MASTER/SHEN/HERO/EMBODIMENT/CHAMPION of bowling!

Thanks to the recent random platoon house ball bowling sessions, my spares have improved as well. after ORD i shall conquer the bowling world. Thanks to frank and colin for reigniting my passion in bowling.

field camp & bowling

TEAM 2 KE MAMA

OLE OLE AH AH

The Man Who Can't Be Moved

It has been an odd weekend.

I experienced something incredible on Friday. After a decent dinner with platoon mates around the Great World City area, it felt like it was pretty late, like 11pm-ish, but actually it was only 8pm. So after everyone went off and after an intriguing religion-talk with frank, i made my way back to my familiar 51 bus stop.

When i was 10m away from the bus stop, merrily singing to the tune on my mp3 player on a nice peaceful friday night, two 51 buses suddenly came together and zoomed past me. Sum thanks~ i just stood there stunned, not upset though, cos it was a nice peaceful night to be enjoyed.

I sat there for the next 15 min, staring into blank space. Then i wondered, hey i'm near church, i missed being in church on a nice weeknight just studying till 10 plus and then taking 51 home, how nice it would be if i could go now...

Then it hit me! I could go! It's friday night!! 8.15pm!! 15 min to caregroup meeting! the timing was too good to be true.

Then of course there was a struggle. Caregroup Meeting vs Going home to relax, play dota, chill out. I was giving all sorts of excuses to myself to do the latter. When i saw a double deck bus in the distance, i was like "if thats 51, i'm going home". Of course it wasn't going to be. That's when i knew God was saying "you better go Caregroup!!". hahaa of course i'm just kidding he din say that, but i knew He wanted me to go.

And i'm glad i did. Because i went, i convinced Dad to go. And Dad was just telling me today that he felt very blessed by Pastor's sermon that day. Indeed God is good.




The Man Who Can't Be Moved - The Script

Anyway i kept hearing this song this week on radio. I haven't kept in touch with radio lately. I heard it on the way to haircut on wednesday. Then on thursday i was half-sleeping on the seat and playing the song in my head at 6am in the morning as we were heading to jurong island in the van. and just nice at that moment i heard the song playing on radio! so qiao.

then i kinda forgot the tune for the next few days, so on saturday i was desperate to hear it again so i could remember the chorus lyrics and find the name of the song on the net. so i turned on my radio on saturday on the way to qamarul's house, then poof! 5 min later the song played!! yeehaa!!!

federer tan

the week barely started, yet i'm already so exhausted~!

haha army life really is a piece of crap! i mean, why am i going to get punished for doing absolutely nothing wrong? hahhahahaah. I DON'T KNOW.

and now after putting in so much effort into SOC a few months ago, running my guts out, even writing a poem about it, some no-brain regular dude wants to make everyone redo? and even threatening to take away the privileges i gained from passing? that is an absolutely breach of trust, breaking of a sacred promise, and a deadly stab in the back! (although of course, i'm sure my bulging muscles would bring me to victory once again, but that is another poem for another time)

alas, i'm looking forward to tennis after camp tomorrow. time to bring out the roger federer in me

what the hell..

i guess i have to take back what i said in my last post, after watching arsenal vs hull just now.

incredible, absolutely ridiculous.

moreover i won't say it was a freak of a result, arsenal's play TOTALLY SUCKED.

totally complacent all the way through, absolutely no urgency in their play. didn't want to shoot when 1 on 1. didn't challenge for headers at all. bullshit

arsenal's season

Firstly, let me apologise to all my die-hard loyal lovely fanatical fans that have tried to contact me on my handphone over the weekend.

I left my nokia charger in camp, and my phone ran out of batt on friday night hurrah! I survived an entire weekend without a phone! How many people can lay claim to such a prestigious & incredulous award! only mr Glen Tan thank you~

In other news, various signs and indications in the world in general have indicated that this is going to be arsenal's season to win the EPL. It is written in the stars.

Other than the fact that they're pwning teams with beautiful football, let wise-ol fortune teller Glen Tan show u the evidence (i'm not advocating fortune telling, please keep away from such mystical stuff, my God decides everything actually)

As you know this week...

AIG went down and out!! Bust! Bankrupt! Needing desperate help from the government to save their sinking ship!

Poor thing. Fourth biggest investment bank in US a few months ago. Now bankrupt.

The second big thing to happen this week, and of course the second sign...

LEHMAN BROTHERS down and out! Never to be seen again

Jens Lehmann

Truly, this is a sign, no?

sick is good

alas the last two days of mc have been fabulous for myself. i've had the opportunity to just lie back and have a really genuine good bout of rest after the last 10 gruelling days took its toll on me.

Although i was still not spared from external stresses throughout the two days. maju camp has to keep haunting u even while u are on mc!!

hi book in time again

Q: who just won the f1 italian monza race 5 minutes ago?

A: Sebastian Vettel


If you...

- don't know what i'm talking about
- don't know the answer
- don't know who the answer is
- don't know why i'm being so bo liao
- don't know that which team he's on
- don't know who came in second and third


then please, do not go down to the singapore grand prix in 2 weeks time, and act like as if you are a huge f1 lover/fan when you haven't even watched a single race in your life. thanks.

singaporeans are too fake sometimes and too quick to jump on e bandwagon


A nice verse pastor shared in church today

Habakkuk 3:17

17 Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls—
18 Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.

Job vs Glen & transport woes

I must say i'm glad this helluva week is over phew!

Well the only downside is that... I LOST MY 11B :((((((((

Naturally i felt quite crappy krabby patty at first.. but then when i think about it...

JOB lost EVERYTHING! His fortune, cash, condo (or big farm), children, cows, chicken, sheep, friends, health, and he didn't complain about any sort of ill fortune.

GLEN on the other hand, merely lost his 11b. LOL nothing to worry about! At most, $50 and 3 extra OKAAYYYY~~

haha chill everything's cool..

In other news, bus and train fares are going up.

I MEAN WHAT THE HECK! on one hand, our dear government tells us:

"hey singaporeans, because of all ur flashy cars and limos, singapore is damn congested. moreover the environment is getting worse. yeah so in order to earn more money from this nice situation, and at the same time reduce the number of cars on the road, we are going to raise the ERP rates to exorbitant levels, as well as set up more ERP gantries to ensure we can scan as many cashcards as possible. Thus you are widely encouraged to either not buy a car, or sell your current car, and then start taking public transport! I mean look at the efficiency of our public transport! On a saturday evening at dhoby ghaut station, you only need to wait for 3 mrt trains to zoom by before you can squeeze on board the next one! good stuff huh? if not, u can always opt for the bus alternative, where you can meet many interesting people who love to spread themselves out at the back of the bus but cram themselves together at the front of the bus! So go on, take our world-class public transport system"

Then today they announce:

" Adult EZ—Link fares on buses and trains and the senior citizen concession EZ—Link fare, will see a flat increase of 4 cents per ride. As for cash fares for adult bus and train rides, which have not been adjusted since 2005, they will increase by 10 cents across the board. "

Also they claim, that since they increase the transfer rebate, it more or less offsets the rising direct costs.

WHAT?!!? So ppl like me who thrive on direct trips around singapore must suffer? If this is supposedly such a good move which was made under "careful deliberation, testing many permutations and scrutinising the impact on both operators and commuters", then why am i still going to suffer?!?! (fortunately nsmen will not be affected so i'm safe for 5 months)

"It noted that the public transport affordability indicator had been on a down—trend over the past five years, indicating that fares have remained affordable for most commuters."

utter rubbish, i spend $50 on transport each month! i'm a bledddy bleeding bledded soldier for crying out loud.. my allowance is pathetic!!

mi amor, i'm not sure of the right words to say

Good ol week coming up with bmt enlistment again, a line-laying exercise, and RSMCOC guitar live performance by GLEN TAN IN THE HOUSE!!! YOYOYOXZ!!

Anyway here's a brilliant song by a mexican group RBD. i need to learn the guitar tabs for this .. anyone can provide some help? play it on my playlist on the right (i would think it is somewhere amidst all the boyband songs..)

obviously the lyrics mean something... :)

RBD - Tu Amor

Mi amor I'm not sure of the right words to say
Maybe these simple words will do best to best explain
What I feel in my heart
What I feel more each day
How to make you see
How to let you know
How to say, how to say how I love you so
With words you understand
Words that get right trought to your heart
Here's the place to start

Tu amor, I will always be
Tu amor, means the world to me
Estarás siempre en mi corazón
You're the one in my soul
that I live for tu amor, tu amor.

Mi amor love you more with each look in your eyes
Maybe these simple words will do best to best describe
What I feel in my heart
What I'll feel for all time
How to make you see
How to let you know
How to say, how to say how I need you so
With words you understand
Words that get through to your soul
Words that let you know

Tu amor, I will always be
Tu amor, means the world to me
Estarás siempre en mi corazón
You're the one in my soul
that I live for tu amor, tu amor.

You're the one that I need in my arms
Believe me these words I say
are words that come straight from my heart
How do I make you believe
Nothing else means as much as what you mean to me

Tu amor, I will always be
Tu amor, means the world to me
Estarás siempre en mi corazón
You're the one in my soul
that I live for tu amor, tu amor.

Updates & Wishes

Hi to all my fans, yes an update is much needed for all the over-zealous paparazzi and gossip-mongers eagerly waiting at dark corners around this blog, just dying for another post from the BLOG MASTER.. GLEN TAN!

Unfortunately, i'm feeling bored today so i've decided to be boring with my blog post as well.

As such, a while has passed since my last post and many things have come and gone. Since frank has decided to provoke me on my tagboard so shamelessly, i shall give a brief commentary on the 21km.

It was basically all about weaving past slow runners and couples who hold hands and run, eating bananas and throwing them by the roadside with no guilt, running like a dog, running on the cursed Engineers' Trail (seriously, if the combat engineers think that the road that they built is showing how much they are progressing and another milestone in their history, then i must say Bangladesh workers pwn us like the mice they are), elbowing that dumb man who cut my queue at the water point and then quickly running away! hmm what else, oh ya seeing hoeseng who looked like an angel from heaven when he stood there at the water point and presented me half a bottle of Ice Mountain! omg heavenly in every sense of the word.. and of course finishing the whole thing knowing that i'll never ever ever ever ever ever ever run more than 5km for the rest of my life!! (i think..)

I started reading bleach!! it is addictive!! reminds me of my dragonball days!! of course the chinese is a little cheem.. and i kinda have to rely on my chinese-english dictionary to check back on certain words when i'm at home..

tmr i'm gonna buy book 9, 10, 11 first thing in the morning! so excited!!


then there is the return of the drivers!! like finally, at least the other bunk now has inhabitants! and playing sports just became a little more fun!

and yes!! playing International Athletics on the psp!!! INCREDIBLE GAME FOR THE MASSES!! the Olympic spirit lives on!!! Bolt, Phelps, Yao Ming, Deco, Gao Ning, Soni, Ck, SL, Kelin.. All superstars in their own right!~


ah yes, that is about all, for now, the future looks pretty busy!! u'll find out soon enough!

16km run/race event

Welcome one and all to the Beijing 2008 Summer Olympics! Michael Phelps, the phenomenal american swimmer, has already made history by winning 11 golds, becoming the greatest Olympian of all time.

But today we have another man, looking to create another slice of history for himself, by being the first Singaporean to ever win a gold medal. Yes lets give it up for the one and only... *drum roll*

GLEN TAN!!

Today he'll be racing in the finals of the 16,000 m men's event at the Bird's Nest stadium. This event is proudly brought to you by our proud sponsor...

Brands Birds Nest!

Now on to the event proper, we have 6 racers today, you must say the odds is against Tan, with the quality of the field of atheletes on show today.

Lining up, we have:

Lane 1 - Mr Disgusting

Lane 2 - I'm-so-naggy-and-unreasonable S3 D. Hoo

Lane 3 - abit-too-garang Toh

Lane 4 - very-ugly-shoe Brandon

Lane 5 - i-love-my-personal-assistant B2

Lane 6 - Glen's running buddy, Weesong!!

Lane 7 - Glen "Muscular" Tan

Lane 8 - Max, B2's lovely PA (personal assistant)

And there we have it.. wha ???!? It appears as the racers are lining up, one of them is still not here, apparently it's the one in Lane 8! Wait a minute, that is Max, B2's PA. It looks like he's late or something. By Olympic rules, a competitor is disqualified if he doesn't appear in the race after the race has already started.

Well it looks like the runners are taking up position on this lovely evening here in Beijing. In position now...

*BANG!*

And they're off! What speed demons these guys! As hot favourite B2 leads the pack. The runners converge at the turn and this race is heating up! The runners look to be keeping up with each other after the first lap, amazing timing! only 40 seconds to complete the first 400m, easily smashing Michael Johnson's 400m World Record, but that's another story for another day.

3 Laps later, and nothing has changed much, with B2 still leading. Wait what's this? abit-too-garang Toh looks like he's clutching his waist in agony, he looks in absolute pain. A case of stitch i suspect. He is clearly struggling as he falls behind the field of runners. The Olympic safety personnel are coming out to assist him off the track, but he rejects them!! clearly too garang! But they jab him in the nose and he concusses! Out of the track you go! Ops first, Safety always.

So looks like the field has narrowed down to 6 with B2's lovely assistant, Max still yet to appear.

Don't forget the runners have to complete a gruelling 40 laps for this race, and we are only at lap 8. Oh whats this?! Max has arrived!! He gets onto the track and sprints towards the field of runners.. and JUMPS INTO B2'S ARMS?!! Oh my we are screening this live, but if u are under the age of 18, i recommend u switch your tv sets off right now. I know the Olympic Spirit embraces people from all walks of life, but i didn't quite expect two male lovers to display their affection for each other so publicly. This is not right kids, i hope you erase this image out of your head. B2 carries Max out of the stadium as they continue their nonsense, ushered out by clearly flabbergasted safety personnel. The crowd is stunned in silence.

Then Glen Tan flexes his biceps and the crowd erupts again! roaring in approval and admiration!

On to lap 20, and the runners are still neck and neck. Tan and Weesong pacing each other very well as we've come to expect from these 2 great runners.

Oh but the two of them have a look of disgust on their faces. Hmm i wonder why. They seem to be staring at the back of Mr Disgusting. Let me zoom in the camera on Mr Disgusting's back... OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME!! it seems like there is some sort of WHITE FOAM oozing out of Mr Disgusting's armpit! This is really very unexpected. It is almost like mucus, you wonder if this guy actually showers and cleans himself! Oh my.. some of the mucus drips onto the floor.. and I'm-so-naggy-and-unreasonable S3 D. Hoo SLIPS OVER THE MUCUS! He crumbles into a heap on the track, it looks like he's broken his leg. Well out of the army you go, about time too. As the personnel stretcher him off, he looks like he's nagging at them. Man what an idiot.

Mr Disgusting, obviously disgusted as his own disgustingness, disgustingly walks off the track and calls it quits as more mucus continue to drip onto the floor. eww.. the crowd are in shock and ..

Then Glen Tan flexes his abs and the crowd erupts again! roaring in excitedness and clearly impressed with this eighth wonder of the world.

Now we are just down to Tan, Weesong, and very-ugly-shoe Brandon. We are at lap 38 and coming into the closing stages of the race with just 2 more laps to go! WHO WILL WIN IT? It is anyone's guess. It's not hard to spot Brandon with his bright orange shoes. Very very ugly i must say. I wonder where he finds the courage to buy something so painful on the eyes.

Oh Brandon looks tired, his big tummy weighing him down. He bends slightly due to the weight of his tummy, looking down onto the floor. *AHHHHH!!!* screams Brandon!! Ooooh what just happened?!

Yes if my suspicions are correct, the sight of his ugly shoe actually pierced his eyes and blinded him! Yes Brandon covers his eyes in agony, temporarily blinded but permanently out of this race! Brandon you seriously need to rethink your taste in shoes!

With just 2 racers left and 1 lap left to go, it is anybody's race!! We've come a long way and it is down to the wire of Weesong and Tan!! They both sprint as fast as they can as they look to outrun each other in the final lap. This is neck and neck stuff guys, absolutely legendary!

Into the last 100m and there is no seperating these two!!! Incredible Stuff! But wait Tan pulls slightly infront... and flexes his biceps in Weesong's face! Weesong can only stop but admire!! This is an Olympic Moment for you! great sportsmanship by Weesong, admitting that Tan indeed has incredible muscles! And Tan crosses the finishing line, clearly in 1st place!!

Amazing race this one. And Tan becomes the first ever Singaporean to win a gold medal! He will go down in history, alongside greats like Michael Phelps, Jesse Owens, Carl Lewis and many more. Tan is truly one of a kind. Congratulations!

This is me, Tan, signing off as the commentator while i was running! Good Night! I am incredible.

thank you

Alas after a quite interesting week in army, amidst a garang pc, a pokemon-cheating sergeant, a quite mentally retarded DY, bobo CEDI specs, unfit juniors, a gay B2 PA, and many more. I would like to thank weidong shuo xian ericson daniel colin brandon for a hell of a week! (and for helping me to soften that last minute blow as well!)

Metallica-like singing, a trip to NUH, adopting the no-way-im-doing-guard-duty mentality, monster hunting, going gym when CSM asked us to run, 3v3 soccer, gorging ourselves at alexandra food village, running my last ever platoon-organised external run, eating breakfast at KAP macs.

madness, i love army.

Pokemon! Gotta Catch Em All!

Woohoo just now i traded my Kangaskhan for a Venusaur! With this dude from Germany! Funky~

yo

After a rather up-and-down weekend, it is time to face a comparatively demanding week ahead.

On monday, i shall guard maju with pride! Standing tall as a fearsome warrior in front of maju's gates, no calamity shall befall my mighty fortress!

On tuesday, my uniform will embody the spirit of singapore, as i, a proud embassador, will represent my great country in presenting the revolutionary SKYLINE to a much heralded thai general.

sings *mee hoo mee taa hang yao* which translates as: Two eyes two ears one tail. Guess what? YAY YES! The Elephant Song i learned in Chiang Mai!

On Wednesday, i shall head down to the secretive location of HQ (clementi camp) and present to some dudes again. Yes as u can see my week is getting more interesting.

On Thursday, out into the unknown of Pasir Laba Camp as I commence on my combat shoot. It is there where i shall release my alter ego: The Spartan Soldier. I will take down the target with my SAR21 in all its glory. Onward to victory! and only two things can happen:

Failure to get Marksman: TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!

Marksman and $200 reward: TONIGHT, WE DINE IN SAKAE SUSHI!

Good night, and good fight.

singing

I'm actually a little glad to have rejoined choir cos i love to SIIIIIIIIINGGG!!! Its exciting!! wahahehehe my mum is now a lao jiao choir member. Along with aunty ellen, so shy, must sit at the back. And 3/4 of gan siblings joined as well, KEWLZ. No wonder Derrick looked happy today. But more importantly...

I CAN FINALLY NOW EAT CHOIR FOOD WITHOUT ANY GUILT!!!!!!!!!




...




Oh man i like boyband songs. I liked the voice of the guy who sang kokomo last saturday night as well. am i gay?

Of course not, gays don't have bulging biceps like me. I also don't carry handbags. I also don't support New Urban Male. I don't wear havanas. Lastly, i'm so HANDSOME and STRONG and AMAZING how can i be gay.

On the topic of boybands, even though everyone laughs at me for liking that genre of songs, deep down, i know that every single hot-blooded male wants to sing it in kbox and secretly loves an A1 song or Westlife ballad or maybe "I want it that way".

I mean, jay chou, ah du and jj lin aren't much more manly.

2 Group Photos and a Handsome Guy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ESTHER!!





MESMERISING SINGING FROM DANIEL~!!




MR MUSCULAR HIMSELF

Why the goverment raised our ERP Rates

Last saturday night while i was at PS awaiting a bus home, i witness a wondrous sight to behold. And i finally figured out the real reason on why the government raised our ERP rates.





FIREWORKS!! *BANG BANG BANG*

Yeah wooo~~!! so nice so fun so cute!! They're having NDP 2008 rehearsals! how spectacular and glamourous. Go Singapore!



WHAT RUBBISH/NONSENSE/CRAP/MADNESS


To my horror, a glance at my watch revealed that it was only 21st June! Absolutely shocking. I've never seen fireworks being let off so early before? In the past, a humble Singapore would only allow the fireworks to shoot off earliest on the 2nd last rehearsal. Now we're still only 7 rehearsals away, yet the gah-ment decides to let fly these deadly multi-coloured, floral-patterned, money-blowing, greenhouse gas-releasing, sparks-in-your-eye dropping FIREWORKS! Give me a break.

Have you ever thought where the money used to buy these fireworks come from? YES!! Your parents' pockets! Your uncles' pockets! It could even come from your pocket when you buy those cigarettes/alcohol!

Fireworks are almost practically, in my opinion, something like this:

The fireworks rocket-releasing-whatever-thingamajig is put on the ground, then before the guy lights up the firework, he stuffs all your parents' & family's and friends' and YOUR money into the bottom of the rocket, before lighting the ignition thingy along with all your money. Then BOOM! All your money flies into the air and explodes in a multitude of colours! Isn't that just beautiful?

Oh so now the economy is prosperous and our wonderful gah-ment decides to splurge on fireworks. Not only that, to fund their fireworks spending, they actually go on to...


RAISE ERP RATES!! Nice. Now u know the real reason why the gah-ment does such profound things. Think about it, people in China are suffering from the massive earthquake, a hurricane struck Myanmar recently, many Singaporeans still live in poverty, yet this is the best we can do. Imagine your close friend, your next-door neighbour, your family member, someone has come down with a serious illness. Maybe you pay them a little visit, give them a nice little flower. Smile a little. THEN GO HOME AND PARTY!! OKAAAYYYYYYYY~!!!

The least our kind little Pedra Branca-loving noble gah-ment could do, was to blast those darned fireworks only on the 2nd last rehearsal, and donate the rest of the fireworks money to the Singapore needy!! Don't always put up those dumb corrupted, celebrity-i'm-so-pitiful-when-i-train-for-this-stunt-sob-tear-cry CHARITY SHOWS that absolutely RIP US OFF. Instead, make some real direct contributions to those in need. SACRIFICE what you wanted to do and donate it! I mean just donating what's convenient is so insincere and pathetic.


EVEN MORE CRUCIAL than the financial effect is the environmental effect of these fireworks. In an era when the Earth is dying, people want to go green, our dear fireworks are a step backward. Check this excerpt i got from a website:


Fireworks Can Be Toxic to Humans
Depending on the effect sought, fireworks produce smoke and dust that contain various heavy metals, sulfur-coal compounds and other noxious chemicals. Barium, for instance, is used to produce brilliant green colors in fireworks displays, despite being poisonous and radioactive. Copper compounds are used to produce blue colors, even though they contain dioxin, which has been linked to cancer. Cadmium, lithium, antimony, rubidium, strontium, lead and potassium nitrate are also commonly used to produce different effects, even though they can cause a host of respiratory and other health problems.

Fireworks Contribute to Environmental Pollution
The chemicals and heavy metals used in fireworks also take their toll on the environment, sometimes contributing to water supply contamination and even acid rain. Their use also deposits physical litter on the ground and into water bodies for miles around. As such, some U.S. states and local governments restrict the use of fireworks in accordance with guidelines set by the Clean Air Act. The American Pyrotechnics Association provides a free online directory of state laws across the U.S. regulating the use of fireworks.

Fireworks Add to Worldwide Pollution
Of course, fireworks displays are not limited to U.S. Independence Day celebrations. Fireworks use is increasing in popularity around the world, including in countries without strict air pollution standards. According to The Ecologist, millennium celebrations in 2000 caused environmental pollution worldwide, filling skies over populated areas with “carcinogenic sulphur compounds and airborne arsenic.”

Do We Really Need Fireworks?
While Disney’s technological breakthrough is no doubt a step in the right direction, many environmental and public safety advocates would rather see the Fourth of July and other holidays and events celebrated without the use of pyrotechnics. Parades and block parties are some obvious alternatives. Meanwhile, laser light shows can wow a crowd without the negative environmental side effects associated with fireworks.



Will you still go WOW when you see the fireworks on 9 August? I won't.

SOC Poem

by Glen Muscular Tan




Standard Obstacle Course.
The thought of it makes me groan till i'm hoarse.
A crazy timing to beat of 9:30,
really makes me feel like playing dirty.

Weidong told me "you better pass,
or we will surely whoop your arse"
I said "hey my biceps will pull me through,
but right now i need to go to the loo"

But the day before the test,
temptations arrived with utmost zest.
Unfortunately, i succumbed with much ease,
my stomach i had to please.

In came congalala with a box of doughnuts,
and i thought "oh my what a slut"
I gobbled down oreo, chocolate, durian
without even feeling a wee bit sian

Then at night we had steamboat,
delightful but i wish it came with a root beer float.
Hotdogs, fishballs, prawns in the hot pail,
"I hope this won't be a reason for me to fail"

Then came thursday morning,
with waking up at 6am came much scorning.
ARgh, time to prepare for SOC,
but first i had to brush my teeth and take a pee.

After breakfast formed up at Alpha Coy,
with my rifle slung much like a toy.
The delays, warmup, and briefing did not fail to annoy,
"I hope all these end up in joy"

Then to the start point we started walking,
trying to calm my nerves i started talking.
The officers weren't satisfied so they made everyone jog,
And i though "man this is dumber than my blog!"

Reaching the start point i was already panting,
no time to waste though, this was the moment of reckoning.
I was put in the first detail,
YEAH! no more lack of low ropes to make me fail.

GO!! and off we were!
In a flash the two officers were gone, just like a blur.
Undeterred, I maintained myself at a steady pace,
knowing that i would still eventually win this race!!

Winding through the warehouses was my least fave,
but I was soon joined by my pacers/slaves.
"COME ON!!" came their war cry,
"Yeah, yeah u think so easy? wanna try?"

Daniel, Shuo Xian and Weesong,
with their encouragement i could never go wrong.
Towards the low wall i advanced,
never wasting time to turn around and glance.

Scaling the wall without a hitch,
Darn! the parallel bar's gonna be a b*tch
But utilising my bulging biceps,
I completed it so well i could have done a 100 reps.

Guess what's the swing trainer?
It's a monkey bar, what a no-brainer!
Even though i could swing through it like a monkey,
I could never be a primate cos i'm so hunky.

Then came the demon, the low rope.
But looking up i saw much hope!
There were ropes for me to climb,
and up i was in no time!

Using almost zero technique and just arm strength,
I stretched out at maximum length!
*ting* i touched the metal pole,
YES! I've reached my goal.

With glee i quickly jumped off,
not before i took a little cough.
I looked back and saw the struggling officers,
"HAHA cya later suckers!"

Taking my time over the rest of the stations,
Hmm i really felt like taking a vacation.
Weidong yelled at me to run,
but what i really needed was a nice warm char siew bun.

Jumping off the low ramp,
Weesong shouted 6:10!
And i sprinted off like a speed demon,
just that it was in the wrong direction.

I made one whole long round,
just like a bloody big clown.
The marshallers' and slaves' warnings i did not hear,
and everything around was a blur.

Yet i am the one and only speed king,
Yoyo check out my bling bling.
My legs were starting to ache,
i need to take a break!

But with the thought of the entire platoon's eternal suanning,
i just had to continue running.
Past the spartan wall, past the foyer!
"SOC sucks!! After this, i want to see my lawyer!"

Yes, the end was near.
Out from my eye streamed down a little tear.
But i wiped it off with my hand,
because now i am a REAL MAN.

As Shuo xian said "open up!"
I thought he was holding a can of 7-up.
But after much thinking i got the hint,
he just wanted me to sprint.

With my last burst i gave it my all,
just like my mum heading to the mall.
I crossed the finishing line like a shining mare,
with 17 seconds left to spare!

I was over the moon,
never going to run this dumb thing again like a baboon.
It was obvious this one thing,
today Muscular Tan was king.

I hastily unclipped my helmet strap,
allowing it to flap.
When it dropped and hit the floor, *kang!*
then i told Daniel, SOC is yi ru fan zhang.

How to bargain with a Thai

Btw this is not by me.

Lets begin.

Bargaining is a part of market life for most Thais, so, before you stock up on all those souvenirs and handicraft goodies, you need a little practice. Consider this conversation...

You: "Sawadee krap/ka, nee tao rai na krap/ka?" (Hello, how much is this?). Your opening gambit should always be in Thai, this way they take you for a local ex-pat and assume you are less gullible; their opening gambit will almost certainly be more realistic. So, learn this phrase by heart (remember guys say 'krap' and girls say 'ka').

Them: Two hundred baht.

You: Two hundred baht, you're kidding, is this one from Bangkok? In Bangkok, I pay two hundred baht for much better quality. Maybe you drive all way to Bangkok buy this one, you get bad price, yes? (Thais love a bit of humour).

Them: (laughing) This one good quality sure, I buy from factory one hundred and fifty baht. Not buy Bangkok, Bangkok more expensive, maybe three hundred baht.

You: Three hundred baht? Where? Maybe you buy three hundred in Phuket, tourist in Phuket have too much money, Chiang Mai very cheap, I ask lady over there how much, she say one hundred baht. Maybe this one made with gold for two hundred baht sure!

Them: (laughing) Yes made gold sure, two hundred good price sure. You want? How many you buy, can make good price for you.

You: I buy already in Bangkok, I get good price, only fifty baht sure!

Them: (laughing in disbelief) Ah, cannot, fifty baht not enough, buy from factory more than one hundred baht.

You: Okay, I go factory tomorrow. Less than one hundred baht for sure. Here velly expensive. I like to buy from you, you very beautiful/handsome/friendly/whatever (Thais love flattery).

Them: Okay, one hundred fifty baht, special for you. You take five I give for six hundred baht all.

You: How about twenty, what price, nine hundred baht?

Them: (laughing) Aaeeeii, no can do. Five, six hundred baht. Buy for wife, children, all. You have wife/husband? (You get this question often).

You: Have wife many, too many, give headache, must buy for all but not enough money (Again, Thais love humour, it softens them up.)

Them: (laughing) Many wife! You butterfly. Okay, I give you five hundred baht, five, special price for you.

You: Thank you, only need three, how much three, three hundred baht?

Them: Ah, cannot, three hundred too little. Please mister/miss, must feed baby (a popular imaginary accessory), work here every night, now foreigner few, no business (reverse psychology, softening you up).

You: Okay, this shop I buy many thing, shirt, book, souvenir, all together, then you give good price okay.

Them: I have many thing, you like this velly cheap… (this is where they try offloading their whole stall on you, suddenly getting wildly optimistic and excited).

You: (deliver coup de grace, suddenly change your mind, say no thanks and abruptly walk away slowly)

Them: (come running after you with original product) Okay, mister/miss, I give you eighty baht, best price, please, nowhere cheaper.

You: Eighty baht? Seventy.

Them: (no longer laughing, looking at you with killer emotional blackmail expression). Eighty.

You: Okay, eighty baht, I take three.

(At this point you become altruistic and use your leverage to tip them nicely, give him/her ninety or a hundred baht for each one, they appreciate the gesture, all smiles, everyone happy.)

*She probably bought it for fifty baht, but these people make very little, be kind, a hundred baht is no more than a couple of bucks.

euro 2008 update

alas, one of the great advantages of my 4-day escapade to chiang mai was the opportunity to catch some euro2008 matches in the comfort of a wonderful hotel room, something which of course, most of my army-bound friends couldn't enjoy.

I would still love the czechs to win, but they were crushed by portugal. absolutely destroyed, but i would still think they will progress past the group stages.

The dutch, however, have slammed me upside down. seriously they are damn good and i forgot to take into account the fact that the once-young stars are now at a ripe age to take over the world. also i didn't quite expect the two most lethal left foots in europe, robben and van persie, to be back so soon. but when u have quality like sneijder and van der vaart and de jong in the middle, along with a wonderful strike-combi of kuyt (hardworking) and van nistelrooy (anyhow han tum still score), this is the stuff of champions. of course in my opinion their defence is still suspect but they have proved me wrong so far. van der sar seems just too solid.

france and italy completely suck. i expected them to, but i thought the dutch would suck more. honestly it is just down to the coaches.

domenech is one of the worst squad-pickers i have ever seen in my life. he leaves out the best, and brings all his personal favourites on to the tournament. he left out flamini and brought toulalan, he left clichy and took along abidal, he left SAGNA at home and brought sagnol, biggest joke ever. how about the rejuvenated Cisse? nah, bring Gomis and Govou to euro instead. 36 year old thuram, ok.. boumsong to complete the puzzle. sorry but this guy's choices are a joke. malouda WHAT?!!? Oh and don't forget that the Serie A's top scorer was left at home to lick his toes.

donadoni, is pure italian throughout. he employs his team to play the most boring football ever, and expects his team to be able to scrape all those 1-0 wins again. sorry dude, ur defence sucks!!! once upon a time there was Alessandro Nesta and Fabio Cannavaro, and a humble Marco Materazzi. now? u have a cocky Materazzi, old man panucci, it's too much to take. Not even Buffon can save Italy (and the goals they concede). Yesterday's match against romania was an eyesore. I mean 80-90% of Italy's shots came from headers. can't u guys come up with something new? some neat ownage dribble and shot into the top corner or something?

By some luck, both the World Cup finalists still have a chance of qualifying, but whats the point? they're gonna get knocked out soon anyway.

Holland FTW. Beautiful football is back.

narnia

Yesterday i went to watch Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian!

Nar -- ni -- a? u might ask.

Suntec City, 2.30pm.

A good two hours 20 min spent in the cinema with family and mary. delightful...
Met up with the bowling people for supper, unfortunately I was so drained by then. Almost no sleep since thursday (no thanks to ops vl) so i was holding on..

went home after that, EURO 2008!!! What better way to start than hosts Switzerland against perennial black horses Czech Republic.

Yes, 5 minutes of the match and it was over.. well not quite. i just dozed off! ha ha for the hundredth time. looks like the lack of sleep was just too powerful and my biceps needed some rest.

Have i ever told u about the time i wanted to catch a 2.30 am champions league match on tv, Arsenal vs Valencia. Very important match. I tried and toiled so hard to stay up till 2.30am, forcing myself to sit up and play FM until 2.30am, dozing off on a few occasions.

and finally the time had come and i turned on the tv, got the drinks and chips, adjusting my sitting position to the most comfortable. wait sitting like this is not comfortable enough, so is sitting like this.. ah why not i just lie down.

Before u know it, it was 5 am, match just over. THANKS, totally pissed.

Speaking of football. EURO 2008 has started!!!

Fantabulous la. Czech and Portugal got off to great but expected winning starts yesterday. I must say i hope Portugal win, but something tells me the final will have the Czechs inside.

Let me show off my prophetic skills and try to predict the qualifiers from each group. (haha easy i know)

Group A: Portugal, Czech Republic, Switzerland, Turkey

Muscular Glen's prediction: This is easy, portugal is just too good. the Czechs boast a mean defence with 4 very very very good defenders, Jankulovski, Grygera, Ujfalusi, Galasek. Amazing! a sure qualifier, and maybe even all the way. Switzerland may boast excellent players like barnetta and behrami, but they lost Frei last night, and thats it. Come on their best defender is like Senderos.. lol

Group B: Poland, Austria, Germany, Croatia

Muscular Glen's prediction: I wun say obvious, but it seems like the automatic choice would be Germany, with their stars and all. Croatia may have lost eduardo but they still have the super pro niko kranjcar. I think these 2 will go through. Sorry austria, no chance, but go ahead and surprise me.

Group C: Italy, Netherlands, Romania, France

Muscular Glen's prediction: CRAP. GROUP OF DEATH. this is a toughie. As world champions, u don't expect Italy to screw up here. But netherlands and france both stand an equal chance.. but i'm leaning towards France. Netherlands have too many injuries.

Group D: Spain, Russia, Greece, Sweden

Muscular Glen's prediction: This is an easy one i would say. Spain have great players and might even go on to finally win this after Raul finally got told to stay at home. haha too bad. But Russia have a SUPERB team. they are the dark horses here i might say. No one knows much about them and thats what makes them so good. expect greece to be steamrolled here. Sweden are so desperate that they even recalled henrik larsson to the team. THANKS AH.

The rest of the predictions will come another time.

2 MORE DAYS TO CHIANG MAI!!! WOOOT

deployment!!

Hello, today i have a riddle for all.

Qn: What/who is the main inspiration behind Glen's jokes?


.
.
.


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Ans: My TOE!! Cos it makes me SO LAME!! ~wakakakakak~


On to other things..


YAY MARY IS BACK~!!! WELCOME HOME!!! I'M SO GLAD~~!!!

sigh 2 weeks of freedom, over, just like that.. HAHA JK!!!

When you were gone, i felt like a maize corn without any of the yellow corn bits :(
but now that u're back, i feel so corny all over again!! just like the corn on cob i ate today!! wahahahahah~~ the gap has been filled ! :)



on to other news...

OH MY GALACTUS!! time to catch Mas Selamat again!

MAS i do it??
SELAMAT hari raya!
KASTARI is Mas's father

byebye

bunch of beach bums

once again, our company decided to embark on an adventure to sentosa. fantastic!!

now i shall present to u, courtesy of my great camera skills : A BUNCH OF BEACH BUMS

We started off with a good meal at mcdonalds. man i totally love mcgriddles. all those who think it sucks seriously need to reconsider their life morals and goals. i mean where can u find a burger that combines hotcakes, sausage mcmuffin, sausage eggmcmuffin all into one??



Alright! Posing for a photo in the wee hours. Check out those matching shirts!! courtesy of daniel from the distant land of bangkok. also dun forget to check out the 2nd guy from the right ;)



Introducing the much awaited debut of beach boy... MR VELOCIPREY IGLESIAS!!





WOOHOOO bunch of faggy ppl happily posing for the camera





LOVE TRIANGLE. tensions running high indeed as the love rivalry simmers...




Talent Contest No. 1
MOST HANDSOME BOYBAND

On the left side of the sentosa rail carriage, we have...



C4!!! (From left to right, Cool, Cute, Charming, Charismatic) Not to be mistaken for F4, yes i know they look much like those guys from taiwan.




And on the right side of the sentosa train, we have..


Handsome!! (Not Hanson, handsome.. get it?)
3 very talented young men.

And the judges have voted.. YES HANDSOME WIN hands down due to the guy on the left possessing all the C4 characteristics (cool, cute, charming and charismatic), and handsome as well, with muscular to boot. What a complete package. Not to forget he's musically inclined, has a wonderful singing voice, almost pass soc, excellent sportsman, etc.. u get the idea






Shuo Xian showing us some of his current projects including that gigantic bridge that connects his room to his toilet. Also don't forget to check out his 8 cars that he loaned to his slaves/workers.. like those guys down there (scroll down)!





Shuo Xian's slaves/workers!! all dressed up for work.






Much like Christopher Colombus, I, Glen Tan, led my group of loyal sailors to conquer the unconquered land of sentosa!! Together we form the core of forefathers to set foot on this sacred land. May our descendants forever live on sentosa in harmony and prosperity! Quite funnily, i would say Imran decided to take his state loyalty one step further, by faithfully following the words on our national flag... (scroll down)






as such! dumb.






From a swimmer to a terrorist, this Imran is a myriad of identities. beware THE GREAT PAKI (haha i will never forget how we tried leading him into the pillar~~ LOL)






Colin: Wha?? Frank!! there's a beetle in your ear!!
Frank: Yeah u can only see it when i tiptoe.






Introducing the POH TWIN BROTHERS!! ~~so cute~~






ck's beloved Hewlett Packard Limited Edition Mini Frisbee was thrown into an oncoming tram, which in its effort to avoid the frisbee on the floor (which it would have missed anyway if it ignored the frisbee), veered aside and smashed it into pieces, along with all our hopes and dreams. Yes people, our country, Sentosa, has received its first threat of invasion. Our sacred HP frisbee relic has been destroyed by the enemy. Our first ever invader, Mr Tram Driver, shall learn never to mess with us. Tonight with dine in hell!! AH-WOO




Talent Contest No 2
Biggest Chest

Round 1
Glen "Muscular" Tan vs Big "Frank" Poppa Pump Tummy



And the verdict is out.. *drumroll*
the judges have unanimously voted in favour of Muscular Tan!! A steamroller of a result. Frank's tummy may be bigger, but Glen's chest pwns all.




Round 2
Mr Velociprey Iglesias Chin Kuan aka. VICK vs Glen "Muscular" Tan



This match is winner takes all. Who will win? and the winner is ..
*drumroll*
STAY TUNED AFTER THE BREAK!
*break over*
the winner is Muscular Tan!! simply for being more muscular and handsome.







Presenting the most retarded looking face of the day. Yes most cui also! Totally ack kute. CUI!






WELL WELL WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE.. I thought i would take this photo of VICK brushing sand off brandon, cos it totally looked like one was whipping the other. But check out the TREASURE i found. YES U BETTER BELIEVE IT!! something is spilling out and no its not my biceps peeking out of my sleeve, but the one and only.. *cough* flub *cough* burrhhh *cough*







*er herm* half day off. *er herm* change my mind, 1 nights out.


thats all! lack of ending photos due to my fateful mishap. Fear not, our legacy in sentosa will not be forgotten. We will one day regain control of this land, drive out all those suntanning ppl! how dare they TAN in the sun when their surname is not even TAN!! ridiculous, u dun see me WONG-ing at the pool or LIM-ing in bunk. ZZZ...

Latest Injury News

A reliable source at Maju Camp Football Club has confirmed that star player, Glen Tan, has indeed suffered an injury.

As of media reports in the afternoon, Tan was seen limping around, in obvious pain due to an injury to one of his legs. We have now confirmed that it is a slightly fractured right little toe.

Our reliable source has revealed to us that the incident took place at about 1315 at siloso beach today. In a furious game of beach football, the team led by Ericson and Hoe Seng took a commanding 3-0 lead after 2 horrific blunders by last man, PTI, and a rather nice goal. Tan, unfazed by the challenge of the excellent opposition, quickly hit back with two opportunistic goals of his own. The first, a tap in, the second a neat shot into the corner. 3-2, but all was not meant to be, as fate decided to withdraw Tan from the game.

A quick tussle with Ericson resulted in Tan brushing his last two toes off Ericson's metal-hard shin, with the little toe coming off much worse. Shrugging off the excruciating pain with much bravery, Tan attempted to pick up where he left off and continued. However, with the pain not subsiding, Tan could do little, and his omnipresence on the sand pitch was reduced to just a helpless hero clutching his little toe in agony. Chinkuan scored soon after to make it 4-2.

Determined to make amends, Tan raced around some more, and with chinkuan attempting to make a clearance from defence, Tan flung himself into the challenge, only to inflict more damage on the already ravaged toe. Shockwaves of pain throbbed in Tan's toe and that was the end of the game for him, as he was stretchered out, much to the appreciation and applause of both the home and away fans, showing their concern for the fallen star.

The match ended 6-2.

Upon closer inspection, medical staff observed that there was tremendous swelling and a slight dent in the middle of the toe. Immediately, a fracture or a dislocation was suspected and Tan was ferried to the near Siloso shed to receive further treatment. However the stretcher broke and Tan gingerly walked to the shed instead, putting up a brave face as he fought the pain.

Expert treatment was dished out to Tan. Due to the lack of ice, a plastic bag filled with cold water had to make do and Tan's toe was cooled to reduce the swelling. Tan recuperated under the watchful eyes of the medical staff present.

Elsewhere a media frenzy brewed as Tan was now doubtful for the side's upcoming match against Echo Coy FC in the 6 SIR championship. No one could confirm if his injury would allow him to play in what would be one of the most important matches in the competition's history.

At press time, Chairman of Maju FC, Tan Shuo Xian, could not be reached for comment.

According to our reliable source, further medical examinations on Tan have confirmed that he has indeed suffered a bad sprain/slight fracture of the right little toe. Tan will be out of action for around 10 days to a month. This does not bode well for Maju FC, and one wonders if they will be able to cope without what is undoubtedly one of their brightest stars to come out from their youth academy in recent times.

Stay tuned for more of the latest injury news on Tan.

The world holds its breath. We can only now pray and hope.



I'll post the pics of the sentosa trip tmr!!

most eventful soc

in the midst of a rather good week, i had the most eventful/unluckiest soc of my life!

determined to make this week's soc the last soc of my life, i woke up all mentally prepared to clear this crap of a test. So everything went as per normal, all set to go.

GO!! i had daniel, ericson and colin to pace me all the way, which was exciting for me. and after much encouragement and what was an easy first 700m, i reached the low wall without expanding as much energy as i did previously. even so, i was the last to reach the wall.

I think i was overconfident as low wall has never quite posed a problem to me, but unfortunately, as i was climbing up... CRAMP!!! GOODNESS GRACIOUS. hahaha i literally climbed up the wall and rolled over the top instead of the normal graceful way i usually do it. haha in the process of rolling over i kicked sergeant yf's head ahahahahah poor guy. ericson and daniel were prepared to usher me to safety, but to their surprise, i mustered up all the grit and sheer determination to fight off the cramp and carry on, shrugging off their help. (actually the cramp just disappeared seconds after i got off the wall)

With that i was last, and used my new technique on the parallel bars to great effect, much to the horror of the watching station master as my pacers watched me clear it efficiently.

Next, the swing trainer. My mum always said i was a monkey and thus, i've proven her.. CORRECT! I hesitated at first as there were many ppl on the bars already, fortunately ericson egged me on as adrenaline pumped through my capillaries and I flung myself from bar to bar. The guy in front of me fell off the bars and i gave him a nasty kick in the stomach, which was to say "GET OUT OF MY WAY U SLOTH", which unfortunately is not possible cos a sloth isn't so lousy with monkey bars. and with amazing speed i was now 5th to reach the low rope.

My weakest station, but fortunately, my biceps, triceps and forceps have become too big for the ropes and i was confident of my ability to scale up the rope. Drawing out my Shining Blade of Purity, i was ready to slay the Low Rope Beast. All 4 of its ropey brown tongues lashed at me, but today, i would cleanse the Earth of its evil and malice. "RARRRRRRGGHHH" was my war cry and i charged the demon. To my absolute horror, all the ropes were taken up!

In lane 1: the hot favourite to pass soc today, sgt yf
In lane 2: mr bloomberg s x tan!!
In lane 3: mr c k velociprey iglesias lee!
In lane 4: some weapons guy hugging the low rope when he had obviously failed his first attempt

Well the obvious observation is that the guy in lane 4 is totally a selfish dood. i mean cannot do at least make way! but he hugged it, and me being a true blue gentleman, thought he may be attempting it again anytime, and so did not want to interfere.

And so came the first 10 seconds of hell. I stood there waiting for everyone to finish their rope, and i was so frustrated i can totally remember myself grabbing my helmet in utmost anger and impatience. I could do nothing but to watch and wait.

Hold on a second.. what is that i see? The light at the end of the tunnel, yes sgt yf had finished his rope and there was now 1 rope for me! steadying myself, i was about to take my first step there when ... MR GORILLA chionged in for the rope!! OH MY GOODNESS.. finally a rope was available and imran totally took it from me. What an opportunist. After much thinking, i think

1) he was just so lucky to get a rope instantly and
2) i was just so unlucky that he was so lucky to get a rope instantly

and so came another 5-10 seconds of hell where i had to wait again. FINALLY! chinkuan came down and my BULGING BICEPS did the magic! one loop was all that was needed as i jumped down instantly, tearing my finger skin in the process. Ignoring the excruciating pain and the red hot blood that was flowing out, i soldiered on. Determined to make up for lost time, i sprinted like Marion Jones on steroids.

Sprinting across the bridge, i managed to overtake everyone and get into 1st. Of course, i was rather slow up the balancing beam because, well its to test ur balance so u dun wanna be sprinting up a beam. but ericson's incessant cries for me to hurry up made me walk briskly through the beam and after that gigantic jump, some sand got into my mouth. But being a real singapore soldier, i swallowed it. (hmm i made this part up)

Then game the suicide window, which really is suicidal. Sean kingston gets suicidal over beautiful girls while i have to get suicidal over the suicide window.. ridiculous man. He doesn't know what he's got man.. wait till he does soc. Well so i acrobatically crossed the window, only to find myself giddy and nauseous. Holding back the vomit, i trudged over the jacobs ladder groggily, and of course, no matter how daniel and ericson screamed for me to hurry up, it was never possible.

And it just had to happen, running up the low ramp, i attempted to backsling the rifle. But, as it had to be with all the other mishaps throughout the whole soc, my sling came off... grrr... imagine if i had backslinged my rifle and jumped off the low ramp... i would look so masculine, dramatic, heroic and impressive. But alas, it was not meant to be.

holding the rifle in my hand, and proud of the fact that i was first despite the low rope fiasco, I wearily trudged on with my 3 slaves - daniel, ericson, colin, running beside me. it was exactly 6:30, i had 3 min for my last run down. with all my energy, i jogged to the gym.. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA??? that sgt yf suddenly cut across diagonally because he *** *** ****. (censored, later his result kana void)

and so, conceding that i would get 2nd, i ran on with ck by my side in the most bizarre fashion. my 3 slaves, constantly reminding me that if i chionged now it would be the last soc of my life. Yes, i knew this was my time. My glory had come and I would finish the Standard Obstacle Course in glory, the epitome of a soldier's achievements. With all the will and pure endurance, i pressed on towards the goal. Sprinting all the way in the last 1 minute, I crossed the finishing line.

Only to find out that i failed by 2 seconds after hearing sergeant yueling's evil laughter and taunt as i crossed the line. My slaves hung their heads in disgust, pretending to offer me a cup of water before pouring it over my head. Unfortunately, they forgot that i was still wearing a helmet and their rebellion was quickly quelled, as i sent them back to their dungeon (bunk) to reflect on their failure to help me pass. Never had the name of the great glen been disgraced so badly.

I will have my revenge on u oh low rope. next week.

emo.

rang ai chuan liu bu xi

i know my chinese sucks.

i also know i'm tough, cool and muscular, but i can't help but feel emo inside when i watch the show.

It's tragic to see how we read about China being "the fastest growing economy" in the world and all. The media, our econs teacher, even our econs exam questions keep blasting this line in our face, but unfortunately, this is all in vain.

What i mean is that it is not quite a facade, but more of a rather material desire by the Chinese government. They chase economic growth so much that perhaps most of the growth is concentrated in Beijing and Shanghai, but when we look at the video footage of the earthquake disaster, one can't help but blame the dreadful lack of infrastructure of many of the buildings that were floored.

It's like, the rich get richer and the peasants just can't keep up. And the earthquake is a tough message to the government to perhaps, do something for their peasants instead of constantly upgrading and building more stadiums for the Olympic Games.




Anyway, today in church, I felt God's love flowing through me for the first time in a long while.. perhaps i've drifted too far in recent times..

cool day

Just a random thought: while i was bathing just now, some shampoo flowed down my hair and into my eye! yikes, the shampoo is some mint flavour thingy so my eyes were like.. REFRESHED! burning with clorets.. totally..

Today was a rather nice day. Jonathan came back from the US for some singapore sightseeing, so was rather excited to see him in church today.

First up though, met up with irbeng for breakfast at dhoby xchange.. ka pui! the kaya toast was crap!! haha. its like rocky bread and sugar inside.. so terrible.. anyway just meeting up for breakfast in the early morning feels really good.. i wish i had more of such things.

Then we hopped over to church where i fulfilled my promise to beng to help him set up everything. then lo and behold! at 0940, i saw nana tong come and so i knew jonathan was near.. and suddenly out of the corner, he appeared more magically than david blaine, copperfield, archuleta and cook combined together!

Haha i was quite shocked at first, i imagined him to be slightly, thinner.. hmm. nonetheless, it was great seeing him.

Then after church, we proceeded on to bring him around. first we went to zion food centre.. where he ate the world famous HALLELUJAH CHAR KWAY TEOW made with charismatic cooking. After we went bugis and basically he bought lotsa stuff.

Having said all that, i was thinking how i missed the times when the youths would go out together every saturday night or sunday afternoon. Somehow there would always be activities already planned, like badminton at lavender, or karaoke at someone's house, and somehow everyone would be so super enthu. tsk, but now i guess things aren't the same anymore somehow.. beng and i were saying how long it's been since we last had a church/youth outing.. perhaps over a year, the bowling comp (but i just remembered we had rock climbing). even so rock climbing was disappointing cos everyoen just rushed home after lunch. i mean i wonder sometimes if our work/studies/need for rest/laziness is catching up with our relationships. Sometimes i know i'm guilty as well. Hmm hope this changes soon. Seriously can't wait for church camp!

So determined to re-unite with my guitar later! already thought of 3 songs to learn, hope to be able to play them by the end of next week. totally inspired ~

this weekend wasn't what i expected it to be, all the hype i created myself, might as well have done guard duty.. i hope next weekend will be diff..

Eat with your family day 2008

Hmm i'm thinking of opening up my blog. well..

Anyway last night was rather quiet, so i decided to msg irving to ask if there was yf tomorrow (which means today).

*toot toot*

Reply came back, apparently, NO!! cos saturday was gonna be "eat with ur family day 2008"!! YAY!! (actually i thought that was last week).

Struck by irving's reply, i was suddenly at a loss on what to do on saturday. For the first time in many many months, my whole saturday was empty, devoid of activities, plans, even saturday-morning-football kickabout wasn't going to be on. totally sian.

Then in some form of divine intervention, my mum stepped into my room, and asked if i wanna go shop with her tmr... EXCELLENT!! hahahahahahah.

I readily agreed because

1. I want to be a good singaporean that follows all the government's wonderful campaigns, as well as dutifully serving my time as a soldier

2. It's been a while since i had a mother-son bonding session

So on to saturday, where my parents and myself had fun at orchard road shopping in the midst of the usual saturday crowd with the GREAT SINGAPORE SALE totally on!

Speaking of which, i actually visited the GREAT SINGAPORE SALE website yesterday, OMG WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!~!~! O_o

Anyway had a nice relaxing time looking at clothes with my parents, got some stuff that i'm well pleased with. Also it was then that i realised that my mum is so seriously an aunty!! AHSOH with a capital A! She was like totally aunty-ing around her whole way through. Especially when in the supermarket, she was like taking every sample she could get, be it japanese chips, wasabi green tea, virginia ham, argh!!

shameless mum <3

also somehow i ended up at the macs outside shaw chilling with my dad over a cup of frappe and iced chocolate. CHILLZ YO...

Ended up talking about alcohol, and i told him my disgust for it!! haha ok maybe not so, i'm fine with cocktails and all, but its not that i hate ppl who get drunk, but i just can't appreciate wine and beer! wine a little , but definitely not beer.

Then i told him about the time i was at wala wala with my friends, and they were telling me all about how this particular beer is from Germany and this one from Belgium and this from Madagascar (just kidding), and telling me how unique this tastes and how rich this one is and this one isn't.

So i sampled all of them and i'm sorry, they all taste the same! Seriously, if i were to be brutally honest, they all taste like BRANDS Chicken Essence. haha, kewlz~


Camp life wasn't that great either. Static Display everyday at Jurong Island isn't particularly the most exciting thing ever. Thinking that it would be a breeze, i was so wrong. Seeing the weapons guys setting up the painfully huge tentage everyday touched my caring, delicate, soft and compassionate heart. Thus, i stepped out of my line of duty to lend aid to them (actually sgt kumar say everyone must help).

Yeah and so everyday, we slog in the morning sun for 2 hours to set it up, and 1 hour in the evening sun to tear it down. Towards friday i was so sick of it that the 4 of us c4 wayang kias (ericson, daniel, sx tan, myself) seeked refuge in the double air-conditioned planning room. HAHA so fun, talking crap, napping, challenging daniel to wi-fi psp winning eleven 2008, listening to hoe seng and his nutty talk.

Yeah when the tentage is set up, we still have to transport sx's PUVSS. guess what P stands for: u got it! PORTABLE!!! however, that PUVSS is actually a monster of a machine! oh my goodness.. to move it from the planning room to the outside tentage requires at least 3 of us.. and not forgetting his bleddy road blade as well! what on earth.. another killer.

Fortunately my bulging biceps are not just for show, and MUSCULAR TAN once again demonstrates why he's called MUSCULAR TAN. I heaved and shoved and pulled and pushed and ho-ed and voila! job done. *pats myself on the back*

Today i was silently thinking to myself. As much as i'm looking forward to my ORD and fervently counting down to it, i can't help but think that i'll look back and miss my army life and all the people i've met, especially us c4 wayang kias.

I will blog more religiously from now on!