16km run/race event
Now on to the event proper, we have 6 racers today, you must say the odds is against Tan, with the quality of the field of atheletes on show today.
Lining up, we have:
Lane 1 - Mr Disgusting
Lane 2 - I'm-so-naggy-and-unreasonable S3 D. Hoo
Lane 3 - abit-too-garang Toh
Lane 4 - very-ugly-shoe Brandon
Lane 5 - i-love-my-personal-assistant B2
Lane 6 - Glen's running buddy, Weesong!!
Lane 7 - Glen "Muscular" Tan
Lane 8 - Max, B2's lovely PA (personal assistant)
And there we have it.. wha ???!? It appears as the racers are lining up, one of them is still not here, apparently it's the one in Lane 8! Wait a minute, that is Max, B2's PA. It looks like he's late or something. By Olympic rules, a competitor is disqualified if he doesn't appear in the race after the race has already started.
Well it looks like the runners are taking up position on this lovely evening here in Beijing. In position now...
*BANG!*
And they're off! What speed demons these guys! As hot favourite B2 leads the pack. The runners converge at the turn and this race is heating up! The runners look to be keeping up with each other after the first lap, amazing timing! only 40 seconds to complete the first 400m, easily smashing Michael Johnson's 400m World Record, but that's another story for another day.
3 Laps later, and nothing has changed much, with B2 still leading. Wait what's this? abit-too-garang Toh looks like he's clutching his waist in agony, he looks in absolute pain. A case of stitch i suspect. He is clearly struggling as he falls behind the field of runners. The Olympic safety personnel are coming out to assist him off the track, but he rejects them!! clearly too garang! But they jab him in the nose and he concusses! Out of the track you go! Ops first, Safety always.
So looks like the field has narrowed down to 6 with B2's lovely assistant, Max still yet to appear.
Don't forget the runners have to complete a gruelling 40 laps for this race, and we are only at lap 8. Oh whats this?! Max has arrived!! He gets onto the track and sprints towards the field of runners.. and JUMPS INTO B2'S ARMS?!! Oh my we are screening this live, but if u are under the age of 18, i recommend u switch your tv sets off right now. I know the Olympic Spirit embraces people from all walks of life, but i didn't quite expect two male lovers to display their affection for each other so publicly. This is not right kids, i hope you erase this image out of your head. B2 carries Max out of the stadium as they continue their nonsense, ushered out by clearly flabbergasted safety personnel. The crowd is stunned in silence.
Then Glen Tan flexes his biceps and the crowd erupts again! roaring in approval and admiration!
On to lap 20, and the runners are still neck and neck. Tan and Weesong pacing each other very well as we've come to expect from these 2 great runners.
Oh but the two of them have a look of disgust on their faces. Hmm i wonder why. They seem to be staring at the back of Mr Disgusting. Let me zoom in the camera on Mr Disgusting's back... OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME!! it seems like there is some sort of WHITE FOAM oozing out of Mr Disgusting's armpit! This is really very unexpected. It is almost like mucus, you wonder if this guy actually showers and cleans himself! Oh my.. some of the mucus drips onto the floor.. and I'm-so-naggy-and-unreasonable S3 D. Hoo SLIPS OVER THE MUCUS! He crumbles into a heap on the track, it looks like he's broken his leg. Well out of the army you go, about time too. As the personnel stretcher him off, he looks like he's nagging at them. Man what an idiot.
Mr Disgusting, obviously disgusted as his own disgustingness, disgustingly walks off the track and calls it quits as more mucus continue to drip onto the floor. eww.. the crowd are in shock and ..
Then Glen Tan flexes his abs and the crowd erupts again! roaring in excitedness and clearly impressed with this eighth wonder of the world.
Now we are just down to Tan, Weesong, and very-ugly-shoe Brandon. We are at lap 38 and coming into the closing stages of the race with just 2 more laps to go! WHO WILL WIN IT? It is anyone's guess. It's not hard to spot Brandon with his bright orange shoes. Very very ugly i must say. I wonder where he finds the courage to buy something so painful on the eyes.
Oh Brandon looks tired, his big tummy weighing him down. He bends slightly due to the weight of his tummy, looking down onto the floor. *AHHHHH!!!* screams Brandon!! Ooooh what just happened?!
Yes if my suspicions are correct, the sight of his ugly shoe actually pierced his eyes and blinded him! Yes Brandon covers his eyes in agony, temporarily blinded but permanently out of this race! Brandon you seriously need to rethink your taste in shoes!
With just 2 racers left and 1 lap left to go, it is anybody's race!! We've come a long way and it is down to the wire of Weesong and Tan!! They both sprint as fast as they can as they look to outrun each other in the final lap. This is neck and neck stuff guys, absolutely legendary!
Into the last 100m and there is no seperating these two!!! Incredible Stuff! But wait Tan pulls slightly infront... and flexes his biceps in Weesong's face! Weesong can only stop but admire!! This is an Olympic Moment for you! great sportsmanship by Weesong, admitting that Tan indeed has incredible muscles! And Tan crosses the finishing line, clearly in 1st place!!
Amazing race this one. And Tan becomes the first ever Singaporean to win a gold medal! He will go down in history, alongside greats like Michael Phelps, Jesse Owens, Carl Lewis and many more. Tan is truly one of a kind. Congratulations!
This is me, Tan, signing off as the commentator while i was running! Good Night! I am incredible.
