most eventful soc

in the midst of a rather good week, i had the most eventful/unluckiest soc of my life!

determined to make this week's soc the last soc of my life, i woke up all mentally prepared to clear this crap of a test. So everything went as per normal, all set to go.

GO!! i had daniel, ericson and colin to pace me all the way, which was exciting for me. and after much encouragement and what was an easy first 700m, i reached the low wall without expanding as much energy as i did previously. even so, i was the last to reach the wall.

I think i was overconfident as low wall has never quite posed a problem to me, but unfortunately, as i was climbing up... CRAMP!!! GOODNESS GRACIOUS. hahaha i literally climbed up the wall and rolled over the top instead of the normal graceful way i usually do it. haha in the process of rolling over i kicked sergeant yf's head ahahahahah poor guy. ericson and daniel were prepared to usher me to safety, but to their surprise, i mustered up all the grit and sheer determination to fight off the cramp and carry on, shrugging off their help. (actually the cramp just disappeared seconds after i got off the wall)

With that i was last, and used my new technique on the parallel bars to great effect, much to the horror of the watching station master as my pacers watched me clear it efficiently.

Next, the swing trainer. My mum always said i was a monkey and thus, i've proven her.. CORRECT! I hesitated at first as there were many ppl on the bars already, fortunately ericson egged me on as adrenaline pumped through my capillaries and I flung myself from bar to bar. The guy in front of me fell off the bars and i gave him a nasty kick in the stomach, which was to say "GET OUT OF MY WAY U SLOTH", which unfortunately is not possible cos a sloth isn't so lousy with monkey bars. and with amazing speed i was now 5th to reach the low rope.

My weakest station, but fortunately, my biceps, triceps and forceps have become too big for the ropes and i was confident of my ability to scale up the rope. Drawing out my Shining Blade of Purity, i was ready to slay the Low Rope Beast. All 4 of its ropey brown tongues lashed at me, but today, i would cleanse the Earth of its evil and malice. "RARRRRRRGGHHH" was my war cry and i charged the demon. To my absolute horror, all the ropes were taken up!

In lane 1: the hot favourite to pass soc today, sgt yf
In lane 2: mr bloomberg s x tan!!
In lane 3: mr c k velociprey iglesias lee!
In lane 4: some weapons guy hugging the low rope when he had obviously failed his first attempt

Well the obvious observation is that the guy in lane 4 is totally a selfish dood. i mean cannot do at least make way! but he hugged it, and me being a true blue gentleman, thought he may be attempting it again anytime, and so did not want to interfere.

And so came the first 10 seconds of hell. I stood there waiting for everyone to finish their rope, and i was so frustrated i can totally remember myself grabbing my helmet in utmost anger and impatience. I could do nothing but to watch and wait.

Hold on a second.. what is that i see? The light at the end of the tunnel, yes sgt yf had finished his rope and there was now 1 rope for me! steadying myself, i was about to take my first step there when ... MR GORILLA chionged in for the rope!! OH MY GOODNESS.. finally a rope was available and imran totally took it from me. What an opportunist. After much thinking, i think

1) he was just so lucky to get a rope instantly and
2) i was just so unlucky that he was so lucky to get a rope instantly

and so came another 5-10 seconds of hell where i had to wait again. FINALLY! chinkuan came down and my BULGING BICEPS did the magic! one loop was all that was needed as i jumped down instantly, tearing my finger skin in the process. Ignoring the excruciating pain and the red hot blood that was flowing out, i soldiered on. Determined to make up for lost time, i sprinted like Marion Jones on steroids.

Sprinting across the bridge, i managed to overtake everyone and get into 1st. Of course, i was rather slow up the balancing beam because, well its to test ur balance so u dun wanna be sprinting up a beam. but ericson's incessant cries for me to hurry up made me walk briskly through the beam and after that gigantic jump, some sand got into my mouth. But being a real singapore soldier, i swallowed it. (hmm i made this part up)

Then game the suicide window, which really is suicidal. Sean kingston gets suicidal over beautiful girls while i have to get suicidal over the suicide window.. ridiculous man. He doesn't know what he's got man.. wait till he does soc. Well so i acrobatically crossed the window, only to find myself giddy and nauseous. Holding back the vomit, i trudged over the jacobs ladder groggily, and of course, no matter how daniel and ericson screamed for me to hurry up, it was never possible.

And it just had to happen, running up the low ramp, i attempted to backsling the rifle. But, as it had to be with all the other mishaps throughout the whole soc, my sling came off... grrr... imagine if i had backslinged my rifle and jumped off the low ramp... i would look so masculine, dramatic, heroic and impressive. But alas, it was not meant to be.

holding the rifle in my hand, and proud of the fact that i was first despite the low rope fiasco, I wearily trudged on with my 3 slaves - daniel, ericson, colin, running beside me. it was exactly 6:30, i had 3 min for my last run down. with all my energy, i jogged to the gym.. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA??? that sgt yf suddenly cut across diagonally because he *** *** ****. (censored, later his result kana void)

and so, conceding that i would get 2nd, i ran on with ck by my side in the most bizarre fashion. my 3 slaves, constantly reminding me that if i chionged now it would be the last soc of my life. Yes, i knew this was my time. My glory had come and I would finish the Standard Obstacle Course in glory, the epitome of a soldier's achievements. With all the will and pure endurance, i pressed on towards the goal. Sprinting all the way in the last 1 minute, I crossed the finishing line.

Only to find out that i failed by 2 seconds after hearing sergeant yueling's evil laughter and taunt as i crossed the line. My slaves hung their heads in disgust, pretending to offer me a cup of water before pouring it over my head. Unfortunately, they forgot that i was still wearing a helmet and their rebellion was quickly quelled, as i sent them back to their dungeon (bunk) to reflect on their failure to help me pass. Never had the name of the great glen been disgraced so badly.

I will have my revenge on u oh low rope. next week.