thank you

Alas after a quite interesting week in army, amidst a garang pc, a pokemon-cheating sergeant, a quite mentally retarded DY, bobo CEDI specs, unfit juniors, a gay B2 PA, and many more. I would like to thank weidong shuo xian ericson daniel colin brandon for a hell of a week! (and for helping me to soften that last minute blow as well!)

Metallica-like singing, a trip to NUH, adopting the no-way-im-doing-guard-duty mentality, monster hunting, going gym when CSM asked us to run, 3v3 soccer, gorging ourselves at alexandra food village, running my last ever platoon-organised external run, eating breakfast at KAP macs.

madness, i love army.

Pokemon! Gotta Catch Em All!

Woohoo just now i traded my Kangaskhan for a Venusaur! With this dude from Germany! Funky~

yo

After a rather up-and-down weekend, it is time to face a comparatively demanding week ahead.

On monday, i shall guard maju with pride! Standing tall as a fearsome warrior in front of maju's gates, no calamity shall befall my mighty fortress!

On tuesday, my uniform will embody the spirit of singapore, as i, a proud embassador, will represent my great country in presenting the revolutionary SKYLINE to a much heralded thai general.

sings *mee hoo mee taa hang yao* which translates as: Two eyes two ears one tail. Guess what? YAY YES! The Elephant Song i learned in Chiang Mai!

On Wednesday, i shall head down to the secretive location of HQ (clementi camp) and present to some dudes again. Yes as u can see my week is getting more interesting.

On Thursday, out into the unknown of Pasir Laba Camp as I commence on my combat shoot. It is there where i shall release my alter ego: The Spartan Soldier. I will take down the target with my SAR21 in all its glory. Onward to victory! and only two things can happen:

Failure to get Marksman: TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!

Marksman and $200 reward: TONIGHT, WE DINE IN SAKAE SUSHI!

Good night, and good fight.

singing

I'm actually a little glad to have rejoined choir cos i love to SIIIIIIIIINGGG!!! Its exciting!! wahahehehe my mum is now a lao jiao choir member. Along with aunty ellen, so shy, must sit at the back. And 3/4 of gan siblings joined as well, KEWLZ. No wonder Derrick looked happy today. But more importantly...

I CAN FINALLY NOW EAT CHOIR FOOD WITHOUT ANY GUILT!!!!!!!!!




...




Oh man i like boyband songs. I liked the voice of the guy who sang kokomo last saturday night as well. am i gay?

Of course not, gays don't have bulging biceps like me. I also don't carry handbags. I also don't support New Urban Male. I don't wear havanas. Lastly, i'm so HANDSOME and STRONG and AMAZING how can i be gay.

On the topic of boybands, even though everyone laughs at me for liking that genre of songs, deep down, i know that every single hot-blooded male wants to sing it in kbox and secretly loves an A1 song or Westlife ballad or maybe "I want it that way".

I mean, jay chou, ah du and jj lin aren't much more manly.

2 Group Photos and a Handsome Guy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ESTHER!!





MESMERISING SINGING FROM DANIEL~!!




MR MUSCULAR HIMSELF

Why the goverment raised our ERP Rates

Last saturday night while i was at PS awaiting a bus home, i witness a wondrous sight to behold. And i finally figured out the real reason on why the government raised our ERP rates.





FIREWORKS!! *BANG BANG BANG*

Yeah wooo~~!! so nice so fun so cute!! They're having NDP 2008 rehearsals! how spectacular and glamourous. Go Singapore!



WHAT RUBBISH/NONSENSE/CRAP/MADNESS


To my horror, a glance at my watch revealed that it was only 21st June! Absolutely shocking. I've never seen fireworks being let off so early before? In the past, a humble Singapore would only allow the fireworks to shoot off earliest on the 2nd last rehearsal. Now we're still only 7 rehearsals away, yet the gah-ment decides to let fly these deadly multi-coloured, floral-patterned, money-blowing, greenhouse gas-releasing, sparks-in-your-eye dropping FIREWORKS! Give me a break.

Have you ever thought where the money used to buy these fireworks come from? YES!! Your parents' pockets! Your uncles' pockets! It could even come from your pocket when you buy those cigarettes/alcohol!

Fireworks are almost practically, in my opinion, something like this:

The fireworks rocket-releasing-whatever-thingamajig is put on the ground, then before the guy lights up the firework, he stuffs all your parents' & family's and friends' and YOUR money into the bottom of the rocket, before lighting the ignition thingy along with all your money. Then BOOM! All your money flies into the air and explodes in a multitude of colours! Isn't that just beautiful?

Oh so now the economy is prosperous and our wonderful gah-ment decides to splurge on fireworks. Not only that, to fund their fireworks spending, they actually go on to...


RAISE ERP RATES!! Nice. Now u know the real reason why the gah-ment does such profound things. Think about it, people in China are suffering from the massive earthquake, a hurricane struck Myanmar recently, many Singaporeans still live in poverty, yet this is the best we can do. Imagine your close friend, your next-door neighbour, your family member, someone has come down with a serious illness. Maybe you pay them a little visit, give them a nice little flower. Smile a little. THEN GO HOME AND PARTY!! OKAAAYYYYYYYY~!!!

The least our kind little Pedra Branca-loving noble gah-ment could do, was to blast those darned fireworks only on the 2nd last rehearsal, and donate the rest of the fireworks money to the Singapore needy!! Don't always put up those dumb corrupted, celebrity-i'm-so-pitiful-when-i-train-for-this-stunt-sob-tear-cry CHARITY SHOWS that absolutely RIP US OFF. Instead, make some real direct contributions to those in need. SACRIFICE what you wanted to do and donate it! I mean just donating what's convenient is so insincere and pathetic.


EVEN MORE CRUCIAL than the financial effect is the environmental effect of these fireworks. In an era when the Earth is dying, people want to go green, our dear fireworks are a step backward. Check this excerpt i got from a website:


Fireworks Can Be Toxic to Humans
Depending on the effect sought, fireworks produce smoke and dust that contain various heavy metals, sulfur-coal compounds and other noxious chemicals. Barium, for instance, is used to produce brilliant green colors in fireworks displays, despite being poisonous and radioactive. Copper compounds are used to produce blue colors, even though they contain dioxin, which has been linked to cancer. Cadmium, lithium, antimony, rubidium, strontium, lead and potassium nitrate are also commonly used to produce different effects, even though they can cause a host of respiratory and other health problems.

Fireworks Contribute to Environmental Pollution
The chemicals and heavy metals used in fireworks also take their toll on the environment, sometimes contributing to water supply contamination and even acid rain. Their use also deposits physical litter on the ground and into water bodies for miles around. As such, some U.S. states and local governments restrict the use of fireworks in accordance with guidelines set by the Clean Air Act. The American Pyrotechnics Association provides a free online directory of state laws across the U.S. regulating the use of fireworks.

Fireworks Add to Worldwide Pollution
Of course, fireworks displays are not limited to U.S. Independence Day celebrations. Fireworks use is increasing in popularity around the world, including in countries without strict air pollution standards. According to The Ecologist, millennium celebrations in 2000 caused environmental pollution worldwide, filling skies over populated areas with “carcinogenic sulphur compounds and airborne arsenic.”

Do We Really Need Fireworks?
While Disney’s technological breakthrough is no doubt a step in the right direction, many environmental and public safety advocates would rather see the Fourth of July and other holidays and events celebrated without the use of pyrotechnics. Parades and block parties are some obvious alternatives. Meanwhile, laser light shows can wow a crowd without the negative environmental side effects associated with fireworks.



Will you still go WOW when you see the fireworks on 9 August? I won't.

SOC Poem

by Glen Muscular Tan




Standard Obstacle Course.
The thought of it makes me groan till i'm hoarse.
A crazy timing to beat of 9:30,
really makes me feel like playing dirty.

Weidong told me "you better pass,
or we will surely whoop your arse"
I said "hey my biceps will pull me through,
but right now i need to go to the loo"

But the day before the test,
temptations arrived with utmost zest.
Unfortunately, i succumbed with much ease,
my stomach i had to please.

In came congalala with a box of doughnuts,
and i thought "oh my what a slut"
I gobbled down oreo, chocolate, durian
without even feeling a wee bit sian

Then at night we had steamboat,
delightful but i wish it came with a root beer float.
Hotdogs, fishballs, prawns in the hot pail,
"I hope this won't be a reason for me to fail"

Then came thursday morning,
with waking up at 6am came much scorning.
ARgh, time to prepare for SOC,
but first i had to brush my teeth and take a pee.

After breakfast formed up at Alpha Coy,
with my rifle slung much like a toy.
The delays, warmup, and briefing did not fail to annoy,
"I hope all these end up in joy"

Then to the start point we started walking,
trying to calm my nerves i started talking.
The officers weren't satisfied so they made everyone jog,
And i though "man this is dumber than my blog!"

Reaching the start point i was already panting,
no time to waste though, this was the moment of reckoning.
I was put in the first detail,
YEAH! no more lack of low ropes to make me fail.

GO!! and off we were!
In a flash the two officers were gone, just like a blur.
Undeterred, I maintained myself at a steady pace,
knowing that i would still eventually win this race!!

Winding through the warehouses was my least fave,
but I was soon joined by my pacers/slaves.
"COME ON!!" came their war cry,
"Yeah, yeah u think so easy? wanna try?"

Daniel, Shuo Xian and Weesong,
with their encouragement i could never go wrong.
Towards the low wall i advanced,
never wasting time to turn around and glance.

Scaling the wall without a hitch,
Darn! the parallel bar's gonna be a b*tch
But utilising my bulging biceps,
I completed it so well i could have done a 100 reps.

Guess what's the swing trainer?
It's a monkey bar, what a no-brainer!
Even though i could swing through it like a monkey,
I could never be a primate cos i'm so hunky.

Then came the demon, the low rope.
But looking up i saw much hope!
There were ropes for me to climb,
and up i was in no time!

Using almost zero technique and just arm strength,
I stretched out at maximum length!
*ting* i touched the metal pole,
YES! I've reached my goal.

With glee i quickly jumped off,
not before i took a little cough.
I looked back and saw the struggling officers,
"HAHA cya later suckers!"

Taking my time over the rest of the stations,
Hmm i really felt like taking a vacation.
Weidong yelled at me to run,
but what i really needed was a nice warm char siew bun.

Jumping off the low ramp,
Weesong shouted 6:10!
And i sprinted off like a speed demon,
just that it was in the wrong direction.

I made one whole long round,
just like a bloody big clown.
The marshallers' and slaves' warnings i did not hear,
and everything around was a blur.

Yet i am the one and only speed king,
Yoyo check out my bling bling.
My legs were starting to ache,
i need to take a break!

But with the thought of the entire platoon's eternal suanning,
i just had to continue running.
Past the spartan wall, past the foyer!
"SOC sucks!! After this, i want to see my lawyer!"

Yes, the end was near.
Out from my eye streamed down a little tear.
But i wiped it off with my hand,
because now i am a REAL MAN.

As Shuo xian said "open up!"
I thought he was holding a can of 7-up.
But after much thinking i got the hint,
he just wanted me to sprint.

With my last burst i gave it my all,
just like my mum heading to the mall.
I crossed the finishing line like a shining mare,
with 17 seconds left to spare!

I was over the moon,
never going to run this dumb thing again like a baboon.
It was obvious this one thing,
today Muscular Tan was king.

I hastily unclipped my helmet strap,
allowing it to flap.
When it dropped and hit the floor, *kang!*
then i told Daniel, SOC is yi ru fan zhang.